She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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