Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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