My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
