I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
