At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
