And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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