I accidentally burped into my bong.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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