I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
