I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
