Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
