i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize