kristin has been a bad kristin
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
