Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
