So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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