No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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