I wish I could teleport
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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