So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
