break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
