Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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