just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had sex on a dog bed..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
