i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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