I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
