So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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