Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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