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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love Texas.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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• (845): View more from New York

  We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

  (1-845): View more from New York

  Who won mens moguls?

  (845): View more from New York

  That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"

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• (310): View more from California

  What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.

  (858): View more from California

  CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG

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