yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
