wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Small penises have feelings too.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
