u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize