no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize