I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize