guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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