i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize