I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize