no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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