It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
