Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i dont even know how to be here
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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