You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
