i think my tv is drunk
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize