Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
