What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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