What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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