in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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