can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
