I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
