so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
