my sisters under your porch take her home
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
