you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
