You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
