so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
