Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
