perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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