Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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