She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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