I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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