Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's just like the Real World with babies
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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