you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
