Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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