Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
meet me or not, i'm out of control
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize