I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
