2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
