normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
