Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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