Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize