Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
