he puts the penis in happiness.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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