i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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