Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
