I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize