you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
