I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
