i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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