Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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