im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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