Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
