Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
