my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
