Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
