dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
