exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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