i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
